FnnyMonsterJokes

Cinderella was now old, and was granted three wishes by the Fairy mother. Cinderella happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?” The fairy godmother replied, “Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?” Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: “The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I’m living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.” Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, “Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother.” The fairy godmother replied, “It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?” Cinderella looked down...

On his way to the protest site he sees one guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gesturing him to stop. Our guy rolls down the window and asks, “How can I help you?” “I am the red bast.. of the asphalt, you got something to eat?” With a smile on his face he hands one of his sandwiches to the red dressed guy and drives away Not even five minutes later he comes across another guy. This time the guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving him to stop. A bit irritated our guy stops, cranks down the window and asks, “What can I do for you?” “I am the yellow bast of the asphalt, you got something to drink?” Hardly managing to smile this time he hands to the guy a can of soda and then stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In order to make it to the protest site before sunset he decides to go faster and not to stop no matter what. To his frustration he sees another guy on the side of the road, dressed all in blue, making a hand signal to...

A Polish man had married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada for a year or so and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on well. One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if he could arrange for a divorce for him….”very quick!!!” The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked these questions: Lawyer; “Have you any grounds?!” Polish man; “An acre and a half and a nice 3 bedroom house!!” Lawyer; “No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?!” Polish man; “It is made of concrete, bricks and mortar!!” Lawyer; “Does either of you have a real grudge?!” Polish man; “No, we have a carport don’t need a grudge!!” Lawyer; “I mean, what are your relations like?!” Polish man; “All my relations live in Poland!!” Lawyer; “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?!” Polish man; “Yes we have hi-fidelity stereo set and DVD player with 6.1 surround sound!!” Lawyer; “No, I mean does your wife beat you up?...

Sometimes how a person acts reveals a lot about their profession. This is a hilarious example of exactly that. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says, “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.” “You must be in IT”, says the balloonist. “I am,” replies the man, “How did you know?” “Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.” The man below says, “you must be a manager”. “I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?” “Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.” The three wishes by the Fairy mother Two old men Abe and Sol

The farmer’s son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken’s his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighbourhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. “Pa, the chickens got loose,” the boy confessed sadly, “but I managed to find all twelve of them.” “Well, you did good, son!” the farmer beamed “You left with seven!” A Polish man had married a Canadian girl A Irishman was terribly overweight

A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there. When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary increase and greater benefits. His co-worker said he should reconsider Chicago was a magnificent city, with world class museums, loaded with a great history, sites, good public transportation, etc. Then he said: “Why I myself worked in Chicago for almost 10 years, and in all that time I never ever had a problem with crime while I was working.” The first asked “What did you do there?” To which the other replied, “I was tail-gunner on a bread truck.” Little Willie came home in a sad Susan spoke to the insurance agent